Impressions
by misspoptart
Summary: Now that everything is over, Jyn and Cassian take a moment to reflect on what's brought them this far: each other. Fluffy Jyn x Cassian, or #rebelcaptain as they say.


**Author's Note: I literally can't stop thinking about Rogue One, specifically Jyn and Cassian. This is meant to be a one shot, but if people like it I may consider expanding/developing the concept a little. I just needed to get what I think Jyn and Cassian needed to say to each other off my chest :)**

* * *

 **IMPRESSIONS**

It hadn't occurred to me that she would even be a girl. To be honest, when I heard the name "Jyn Erso," I pictured a lanky kid who would look kind of like an underfed version of Galen. But as soon as I walked into the debriefing room and saw Senator Mothma's expression, taut like a mother scolding her child, I realized we had an entirely different character on our hands.

Jyn. What was she, 17? She didn't even look old enough to be a criminal.

Considering the hell I'd been through and back, I wasn't in the mood for small talk. Again, I had been pressured into doing something I wish I hadn't done. Again, my mission had only been achieved at the cost of human life. Again, no one was there who could understand what I felt, so I buried my feelings, along with the rest.

Jyn would only be a problem, another person who might die on my watch, or maybe even someone else I'd have to kill myself. I wanted nothing to do with her. But of course, that didn't matter to General Dravits.

* * *

Cassian. I said the name to myself with pure disdain, betraying only a scowl as I thought about how much better life would have been if they had just left me in the damn labor camp on Wobani.

Cassian. He wasn't bad looking; he was just patronizing. I wouldn't have called him sexist by any measure, either. Just kind of a douchebag, who pretty much only thought of himself and held lofty ideals that no one else around him shared. I guess that's what had made him kind of closed off and bitter.

I wasn't the most friendly person either, back then. I'm still not. And probably never will be. But if I had the chance to go back and meet Cassian again, for the first time, I would try to look at him with a little more sympathy.

* * *

I can't tell you at which point I started to care about Jyn. Maybe it was during our hyperspace jump from Jedha to Eadu; when she relayed the message from her father so passionately and full of urgency. No, it was earlier than that. Maybe back when she risked her life to save that screaming child in the Holy City.

They all died anyway.

Maybe it was precisely because she seemed to do things her own way, and for no reason at all. It was just who she was, and I admired that about her. My whole life, on the other hand, had been spent doing things for a cause. And at times, I didn't even believe in the cause. I just did what I had to, not only to stay alive, but to give meaning to my otherwise pathetic life.

But Jyn. She did things that she felt were right. She didn't do things that she felt were wrong. And for the rest of it, she didn't give a shit. By the time we were on the way to Eadu, I had started to doubt I was even the leader of our mission. It was my ship, and they were my orders, but she was the one everyone was following.

I could have followed her forever.

* * *

I was still shivering and wet in the ship on the way back to Yavin IV when I realized I trusted Cassian. I believed him when he said, _I could have pulled the trigger, but I didn't_. I started to think that maybe, just maybe, Cassian and I understood each other. And although I didn't like everything he had done, I began to accept him.

The way he spoke to me like an equal, the way he didn't back down when I stood up to him. The way we met eye-to-eye and head-to-head. With Cassian in my life, things were starting to make sense; the rebellion, the reason for my father's sacrifice; the meaning of being rescued by the rebellion.

Cassian was also starting to make feel something.

Was it friendship? Never in all my life had I felt that way about someone. And although there wasn't time for it, I was beginning to imagine my own future.

* * *

I started to feel like a moon in orbit. I gravitated toward her, feeling the push and pull of her tide. I pulled away to see if she would come closer. I leaned in to see if she would pull back. She was steadfast, unwavering. Jyn, she had so much pride. Me? I had none whatsoever.

That's when "we" had a mission to accomplish. "We" had a rebellion to save. But before all that, "we" had to be there for each other. She had given me a new reason to fight. And I liked to believe that I inspired her to keep going, too. Even though I know in my heart that she would have done what she did without me by her side, because that's just how she was.

Regardless, she made a fine partner. In all my years of fighting, I had never fought alongside someone like Jyn.

* * *

Cassian. He's clutching my waist, pulling me back. I can feel his ragged breathing on my neck. My brain and body are shutting down, and I can't process what's happened. Krennic, face down on the platform. The Death Star in the atmosphere. Carnage and debris strewn across the islands.

I'm so angry. I'm not finished.

He whispers, "That's it. That's it." And that's when I understand: the battle is over, and we truly have won.

He pulls me close, watching me intensely, and without saying anything, we realize we aren't going to make it. He is mortally wounded, and I can barely walk. We have spent all of our chances.

We're on the elevator now, and these are my memories of him. The way he's looking at me now, it's as if he loves me.

* * *

Jyn. Remember the way I looked at you? We barely spent a week together, and there was so much I wanted to say to you. There's so much I still want to tell you. There's still so much I want from you. And there is still so much I want to give you.

I may not have lived the longest life, Jyn. I may not have spent all my time wisely. And I may not have experienced love.

But it's enough, to be here for you.

* * *

If we only had more time, Cassian. I had so much left to say.


End file.
